Ebony...

I had to put my cat, Ebony, to sleep last Thursday, the 27th. This sucks out loud. Within four hours she went from being totally fine to me having to put her to sleep. I don't get it. Apparently she either had a stroke or something, I don't know, but the vet said she couldn't see, eat, drink, stand, or walk around on her own. Her temperature was so low they had to put her on a heating machine and her heart rate was too slow for the stress her body was going through. She also was having problems breathing. They said it might have been a blood clot at the base of her brain stem or some other type of neuro problem, like a brain tumor or brain cancer.

It was just so sudden. It's so hard to believe that she's gone because I had literally no time to prepare. I also feel really horrible because, even though everyone says I did the right thing, I feel like I didn't. Like, maybe I should have had more tests done? But that would have only increased her suffering, and I don't want that at all. :(

Now I'm having trouble sleeping because she used to lay right next to my head at night. I'm used to her being there, all loud and obnoxious, and now that she's not I'm very lonely. It's like there's this section of me that's missing. I had her for fourteen years. It's a long time, so I don't think it's something I'll get over that easily. As siriuslyyellow said, there's a kitty-shaped hole in my heart.

EPICWOE. ;_;