kowaiyoukai: (CM Morgan/Reid loved to madness)
kowaiyoukai ([personal profile] kowaiyoukai) wrote2010-01-22 03:42 pm

Criminal Minds: Comfort, and Lack Thereof, Morgan/Reid pre-slash, PG-13, coda to 2x15 Revelations

Title: Comfort, and Lack Thereof (coda to 2x15)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] kowaiyoukai
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Morgan/Reid (pre-slash)
Warning(s): Angst, pre-slash
Spoilers: Through 2x15 "Revelations"
Word Count: 814
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.
Beta Acknowledgment: [livejournal.com profile] siriuslyyellow
Summary: It seemed stupid now. Reid was safe, and that was the most important thing.
A/N: My first Criminal Minds fic. Also, this is unintentionally my first rareslash pairing. I am completely flabbergasted by the lack of Morgan/Reid fics in this fandom, since it's so obvious in canon even though I've been told I'm crazy by several fangirls who looked at me and shouted, "YOU'RE CRAZY!!" So, here, some fic to make up for the lack. ^_^*





It seemed stupid now. Reid was safe, and that was the most important thing. What did it matter, really, how he'd reacted when he'd been saved? He'd been through a traumatic experience. Of course he was going to be overly demonstrative, clinging to the people who were right there. It didn't actually mean anything.

But Morgan couldn't stop thinking about it. Emily and Hotch had gotten to Reid first. That was chance, pure luck, and Morgan knew it. They had helped him up, Emily's hand on one of Reid's arms and Hotch's hand on the other. Morgan was too far away to do that, to do anything other than stand there and watch the scene play out.

He thought about the way Reid had clung to Hotch, gripping him so tightly Morgan thought he'd never let go. Hotch had matched the embrace equally, not bothering with his usual method of refusing his emotions to come through. Reid's voice when he spoke had sounded so fragile. It trembled, breaking, and Morgan knew something inside of Reid was trembling and breaking too.

Then Reid let go and held onto JJ. She had needed that—needed his physical touch to reassure herself that he was alive. She blamed herself for Reid being captured; she had told Morgan as much. Reid forgave her instantly, and their hug was more about comfort and less about the knowledge that he was safe.

After that, Gideon guided Reid away from the body, allowing Reid to lean on him since he could barely walk on his own. Morgan knew Gideon cared about them all and, more than likely, felt some sort of responsibility whenever any one of them was injured. So there was nothing there that was new or unexpected.

In fact, none of their reactions were unexpected. Every member of the team wanted to make sure Reid was okay, and part of that was reaching out to touch him. It was an unconscious gesture that all of them knew, a simple way of letting each other know that they were safe and with people who loved them. Every profiler saw this a thousand times over the course of their careers. Victims and families would reconnect in the same way almost every time. Hugging, touching, running their hands up and down the victim's back, fingers tracing their eyes and noses and mouths, clutching at each other's clothes as if even that was just too much distance between them. You're here, you're safe, don't worry, it's over now.

Their team was like a family. Even Emily, the newest of them all, had wanted to touch Reid. Morgan knew that Garcia would throw herself at him when she next saw him, most likely squeezing his thin frame so hard he'd have trouble breathing. Then she'd step back and apologize and worry that she'd hurt him, and she had done exactly that, and they were all so predictable Morgan wanted to laugh.

Everyone else had their moment to reconnect, to touch Reid or say something that needed to be said. Morgan hadn't done either. He had only watched as everyone else did the things he wanted to. Sometimes, in his head where he knew it was safe, Morgan could imagine pulling Reid to him, holding him close and whispering things to him while Reid replied in the same quiet kind of voice. But nobody knew that, and he wasn't prepared to deal with it yet, no matter how much he talked to his family about Reid. So Morgan had stood aside and watched as everyone else lived out something he wasn't even brave enough to admit to wanting.

It really was stupid. But Morgan hadn't done anything. When he had seen Reid on the video, Morgan had known the Unsub was a dead man. That was all he had focused on, finding and killing that son of a bitch. But of course Reid got to him first because Reid was smart, so smart it scared people, smart enough to protect himself at the first opportunity. So Morgan couldn't even do that, and he had no idea what else to do when presented with a traumatized Reid who could barely move on his own and had been beaten so much his own blood was still on his face. He just stood there watching, and realized that if he touched Reid that would be it. He'd hold him tighter than anyone else had, he'd tell Reid things that were supposed to be secret, and he wouldn't even care that other people were right there.

So maybe it was a good thing that Morgan had refrained from comforting Reid. It kept his feelings hidden for a while longer, locked away until he was actually ready to deal with them directly. Until then, the distance between them, their shared silence—that would have to be enough for them both.


fin.

Feedback is lovely. <3

(Anonymous) 2010-01-23 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
That was lovely~

now we need the sequel... Preferably slash.. :DDD

[identity profile] kowaiyoukai.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 04:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks a lot for commenting! XD More is definitely coming, but not as a sequel to this. I've got a few other M/R fics in the works. \o/

[identity profile] ragcat.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
Very nice! I just watched this again the other day and I always think the same thing--Morgan, get in there and hug the guy!! Good job!

[identity profile] kowaiyoukai.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks a lot for commenting! \o/ I agree, it's like, Morgan, what are you doing!! Hug the kid who just got tortured! SRSLY. :P

[identity profile] ragcat.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
And, hey, looks like you're also a Joker fan. I answered a prompt on Joker/Batman for a crossover between a current detective show character and the Joker, and of course, I chose Reid!

[identity profile] kowaiyoukai.livejournal.com 2010-01-28 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
I AM SO ALSO A JOKER FAN YESSS. <3 That is so amazing, dude, link me to your fic and I'll read it when I'm next online! LOL, I may actually have chosen Holmes for that prompt right now, but RDJ has taken over my midn with his gay sexiness. ♥

[identity profile] ragcat.livejournal.com 2010-01-28 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
Here you go:
http://community.livejournal.com/batmanjoker/543539.html

Hope you like it! And yeah, RDJ was freakin' hot in Holmes, I love him a lot.

Thanks!

[identity profile] momma-66.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
*iz speechless* fantastic. please can we have more?

[identity profile] kowaiyoukai.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks a lot for commenting! <3 I'm working on other M/R fics, so never fear. More wil be coming. :D

[identity profile] aura-wolf.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 01:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Very lovely indeed! I second the motion for more! ;)

[identity profile] kowaiyoukai.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 04:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks a lot for commenting! \o/ LOL, I got the message for begging for more. Will do. <3

[identity profile] lagolindari.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 01:57 pm (UTC)(link)
It's lovely :).
I've always been wondering why Morgan didn't touch Reid while everyone did - I, too, wrote a short piece to explain it. I'm glad to see someone else picked on this detail :).

[identity profile] kowaiyoukai.livejournal.com 2010-01-23 04:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks a lot for commenting! ♥ Oh, I didn't see your one-shot, I'll have to look it up. I've read most of your other fics, though, and they ROCK!! \o/ But srsly, there needed to be some explanation for Morgan's look of epic woe-is-me-I-cannot-touch-him-but-can-only-long-for-it-from-the-side look of despair. XP

YOUR ICONS ALSO ROCK. <3

[identity profile] aeternitasbeach.livejournal.com 2010-01-24 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
lovely insight into Morgan's head. I too like the idea that Morgan didn't reach out for fear that he wouldn't be able to control himself if he had. Oh, boys <3

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_nextboldmove_/ 2010-01-26 04:02 pm (UTC)(link)
That aside, this was a really sweet story. Thanks for sharing!

[identity profile] jay-em-ess.livejournal.com 2010-01-28 01:13 pm (UTC)(link)
HOMG love! Look at this, you are feeding my inner fangirl beast in two fandoms now! This was a lovely fic, but it DOES read like a prelude...*hinting at moar hawt R/M angst* ^_^!

[identity profile] rhae.livejournal.com 2010-01-31 08:52 am (UTC)(link)
I didn't see it before, but now I know when I watch this show I'll be looking for it. ;)

[identity profile] luderbude.livejournal.com 2010-02-06 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
I came for Apogee once, but I think I'm staying for your CM fic(s).
That was lovely. Loved the insight into Morgan's head and his reasoning for not touching Reid.
Can't wait to read more of your M/R fics.

[identity profile] yankeedoodle242.livejournal.com 2010-02-08 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
Wonderful!